Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize