Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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