saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
