He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
