nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
