been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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