Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
