I cannot find my penis.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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