Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
