i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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