Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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