Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
