Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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