TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
