So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
