If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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