So drunk, too bad you don't want this
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize