thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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