he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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