We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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