i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
