i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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