so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂