the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
