Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
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Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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