Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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