I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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