went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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