So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Two words: nipple clamps
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