I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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