I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.