It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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