it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.