you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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