so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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