i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize