thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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