yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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