We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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