Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
