This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
