Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
