This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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