remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize