GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize