I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I supernannyed him into submission
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
