I faked an abortion last night.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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