He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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