brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
