I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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