Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
How naked do you want me to be?
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