I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
