You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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