Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
love makes seman taste better
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize