shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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