I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
