thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
