Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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