i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
